Family Testimonies ~ Camp Calvary 2013
Camp Calvary 2013
“The Horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory is from the Lord” Proverbs 21:31
I love that word preparation. Who doesn’t like to be prepared…right? Preparation is orderly and lends to a sense of comfort and not to mention…control.
For Camp Calvary 2013, preparation was the name of the game!
After hosting our first ever at-risk youth outreach camp, last July, 2012. We learned much about hosting another camp through the wonderful school of trial and error. Bound and determined to improve and become more efficient with every aspect possible. We began the last February bubbling with ideas and plans for Camp Calvary 2013.
The horse is prepared……
In May, we rolled up our sleeves and began the all-consuming task of preparing the equestrian activities for Camp Calvary. We had 9 short weeks to train/prepare horses and volunteers for our week-long adventure at Stone cellar camp ground. We were excited, pumped and plain blessed to see what God had in store for this year’s camp! So we began with our first order of business…
Horses.
This word is bittersweet for me. I used to type “horses” and be thrilled by possibility and adventure…but over the last year I have come to appreciate the word “horses” with a cautious embrace.
Though Horses are a cornerstone of A Ranch of Light’s outreach to the public, I have learned to hold them lightly according to Gods plan.. In the years we have operated, I have learned the value of selecting exactly the “right” horses for our program and waiting on the Lord to bring them.
Round ’em up!
We needed between 12-14 horses for camp. We had to literally double our herd in a matter of weeks in order to train them all in time for camp.
Offers for horses came rolling in…We began the evaluation process all throughout May and settled on a nice little motley crew of family horses to serve at camp.
The training began.
We had weekly training sessions scheduled at the ranch for our horse crew volunteers. The training would help prepare both horses and handlers with all the activities and environment in which we would be working in.
Prepare it did. Although not the way I would have designed it…God allowed many unexpected circumstances, incidents and losses during those 9 short weeks. All trials revolving on and around volunteer training days. For a ranch that is generally boring when it comes to “barn drama”…we were up to our necks in it.
Prepared?
I wasn’t sure. God had taken horses and added horses. He had taken volunteers and added volunteers. That word “prepared” was becoming elusive at best. We had prepared. Given it our all, trained to the best of our ability and before we knew it, it was…
Time for Camp.
Last year’s camp had its obstacles. We had our trials and faced our share of opposition. Those trials came from outside sources; Weather, equipment and a lack of volunteers. Camp Calvary 2012 was under equipped, under prepared, and under manned…yet completely held together by a mighty miraculous God!
That was last year…
Camp Calvary 2013
It wasn’t until my arrival at the camp that I began to simmer in the warmth of our preparedness. Greeted by a team of nearly 80 volunteers. I had never seen a team of servants so unified for the cause of Christ. These people were NUTS and I LOVED it!!
Supplies hit the ground and were attacked for distribution and assembly by people with the initiative of ants on watermelon. An entire horse ranch flew into position in a matter of hours!
This team was amazing, professional and on top of it!
They worked nonstop. Fueled by an unstoppable love for Jesus and an enthusiasm for what was soon to come…
The campers.
I’m not going to lie. I felt great. Our camp was set up flawlessly. All the volunteers were working together beautifully. I was not wiped out, burnt out or exhausted. It seemed everyone was ready and extremely prepared for this years camp.
I took one last look at our well-oiled machine as I climbed into the truck with my brother (Pastor Edde) to go pick up the campers at church. Short of patting myself on the back..I sighed relief and satisfaction as the bustling camp faded out of view.
What could go wrong?
We had not been gone more than a couple of hours when we received news that an irreplaceable volunteer, Kris Karle had and accident at camp and shattered her ankle. It was a blow! Edde and I felt helpless wanting to make sure she would be OK… Unsure how we would bounce back from losing two key volunteers, Kris and her husband Bob and only minutes away from camper check-in at church! We knew we had to trust the Lord and His timing.
The Campers trickled in.
How awesome to be there at sign in. My anxious heart eased as I saw nervous middle schoolers arrive with parents and care givers. I got to greet and mingle with the families and even start to get to know the kids.
But I think I forgot..
I forgot how hard this gets.
One of my first interactions at the church was with a young boy who introduced himself by name and immediately proceeded to tell me about how his Dad once had a ranch but went to Prison. He told me bitterly without looking up from the table that he didn’t believe he would ever see his dad again.
It’s like a kick in the gut.
We meet these kids..they are very closed. When they open up …the stories they share are not trivial or average…they are heart wrenching and un imaginable.
Painful.
The enemy tried to get a few digs in at the church. We had a few last-minute drop-outs from camp..One of the vans mysteriously wouldn’t start. We got pretty behind schedule.
However, it was not any of those irritants that ruffled my spirit. It was something else. Something was different from the previous year. Gazing around the group of nearly 30 kids waiting in the church… I sensed an atmosphere brewing of disrespect and irritation. The kids were short-tempered and short attention spanned. It wasn’t helping that the vans wouldn’t start! I figured they were just a little stir crazy and needed to stretch their legs…nothing that a week in the woods wouldn’t cure…right?
Wrong.
I was relieved when we arrived back at camp. The ride up was exhausting. The vans kept overheating and so did the little tempers seated in them. I was grateful to exit the van, hand over campers to counselors and high-tail it out of sight. I felt sick to my stomach and for the first time in my perfect, flawless, well-oiled little camp…I was drained to the point of tears.
What was wrong with me?
Camp had not even begun and I was ready for it to be over. Was I crazy? Was I selfish? Had the last couple of hours really been that exhausting?
This was not how I felt last year…
The next few hours were met with a ho-hum demonstration by me and my horse Bellagio. I was scattered and tired. We did our best but I was glad when it was done. There it was again…I was glad when it was done? The kids lacked enthusiasm and so did I. The night ended with awesome worship and a powerful guest speaker…but I welcomed the day coming to an end.
I figured I would feel better in the morning. The next few days would be nonstop action and we would get to see God work…it was going to get better right?
Proverbs 21:31
I was really excited to start the horse activities. We had worked REALLY hard preparing the horses for the day of battle.
They were ready for action. With all our preparation I would not have expected what came next.
We spent the day cycling groups of campers in and out of all the amazing activities we prepared for them. Horses, archery, rock climbing and field games.
In and out the kids filtered through the arena all day. In and out flowed waves of personalities, feelings and emotions. Everything I had sensed the day before in the church was coming to a head among the kids. Some were grateful to be at camp but others could care less. A cloud of irritation and frustration hovered over all the campers.
This was not what I expected.
No meaningful conversations were occurring.. We were policing bad behavior. Walls were not coming down; we were putting out personality fires. What was happening? The counselors were wiped out; the kids were bucking the camp activities and the horses…
The horses were done.
In my 8 years of operating our ranch I had never seen anything like it. After only one day of riding activities…the horses were refusing to participate. They didn’t want to be haltered, some were refusing tack and handling…they literally threw in the towel.
The myriad of emotions and behavior the horses were saddled with all day, did them in. This year was different. It was too much. They just quit.
We’ve all heard the expression.. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”… right?
Right.
We can’t make them want this.
You cannot make a horse do anything it does not want to do. It is 1000 lbs. of will, personality and emotions. It also exercises choice and if these horses were not going to choose to be a part of the camp. I could not make them.
Just like us.
Then it hit me.
Proverbs 21:31 “The horse is prepared for the day of battle but the victory is from the Lord”
All the work…all the preparation we had done in every aspect of the camp could not produce a victory in this camp or these kids’ lives. I had been so fixated on the “work” of putting on the camp that I had slipped into that very mindset…
Works.
I was convicted. I had put 100% effort giving my time and talents to the Lord. Giving him all my ability, I had deceived myself into thinking that was enough. And now I was the epitome of the proverbs 21:31 horse. I was well prepared for the day of battle…but now in the midst of the battle I was stuck, lost and not knowing where to go…unable to move forward.
I had lost sight of my Master…
I couldn’t see the victory in sight.
I was broken by my self-sufficient, self-centered performance mentality. I was desperate to see God work a victory but I had been hovering on the sidelines waiting to watch the show! I wanted to put on a perfect camp with perfect activities, perfect volunteers and perfect horses….expecting a perfect result!
It was then the revelation hit.
I wanted to feel strong.
God has no use for human strength. It is pathetic in contrast to His strength. In fact, it down right gets in the way. When we feel sufficient in our selves…we lose our complete dependency on God. We become useless in His plan. That’s precisely what I had become…
Useless.
“Lord! Please have a victory at this camp! Please work in the lives of these kids! This camp is a useless effort without You Lord. Please show me what you require from me?”
The Lord reminded me…
“When you are weak ..I am strong”
I needed to get weak.
How does one get weak?
The answer is… we already are.
The problem is …we think were not.
We present ourselves in a way that others will not see the truth…that we are indeed weak.
Weakness begins by getting uncomfortable.
I had been keeping the kids at a safe distance. I was consumed with the job I was doing and I wasn’t rolling up my sleeves and pursuing them along the way. I wasn’t letting myself get close enough to feel hurt.
It is not enough to perform a perfect work for the Lord…if we are unwilling to get close enough to the broken-hearted to get our hearts broken.
This truth was becoming prevailingly clear through leadership as Pastor Edde exhorted us all to PRAY…unceasingly pray. Roll up our sleeves and pursue these kids.
“The Victory is from the Lord”
There was a shift in the camp over the following days. Praying corporately and individually became our lifeline in the battle for these kids’ souls. We grew increasingly dependent on the Lord for every interaction, conversation and situation. Miraculously…
Walls began to come down.
The kid’s walls and our walls.
Spending time with kids from broken backgrounds is breaking. It is unnerving and rips the scabs off old wounds. Hearing their stories unearths the past in our own lives and unburies memories and pain of our own long forgotten.
Getting weak hurts.
It comes at the price of vulnerability. The hope we have in Jesus… is the hope in a comforter, a healer, a Savior and a friend.
When broken people see victory in us…the victory of God healing us from bitterness, anger and teaching us forgiveness…they have hope that God will set them free. It is the tangible real testimony of His work in our past, present and future that allows them to see and believe that this Jesus is who He says He is.
It is the love that He gives us for them that draws them to follow Him.
Why wouldn’t we want to get weak for His glory?
What about the horses?
LOL! The Lord told me to let them be weak. I reintroduced them to the kids the following day as broken, irritated, annoyed short-tempered creatures. I confessed to the kids that I was expecting the horses to be perfect and strong. I shared how God reminded me that He has no use for perfect strong things. I told them the horses were weak and so was I and that if they were to continue working with them, they needed to stop pursuing what they can get and rather view it as an opportunity to pursue what they could give. To give God’s heart of tenderness and compassion to them.
They gave.
I watched self-centered eyes became others centered.
I watched short attention spans exercise self-control.
I watched hard hearts soften with love.
Guess what…
The horses were back in.
Camp Calvary 2013 was quite a journey. We were given the gift of getting to know some of the most beautiful little souls you will ever meet. We loved them, fed them, played with them and shared Jesus with them. Many of them gave their sweet hearts to Jesus. So many kids left camp in tears that last day. Many told us they had never felt like a family more than they had that week.
All of them left touched by the heart of God and His great love for them.
I am so grateful to everyone who prayed, gave gifts, time, talents and equipment to make Camp Calvary a success!
We covet your continued prayer support as we prepare to follow-up with our campers by providing ongoing ranch classes and opportunities. Camp Calvary is a fantastic door God has opened to help graft us into the lives of these children and families. Camp Calvary would not be possible without the help of God’s people.
Thank You!!!
Please be praying for the Lord’s will for Camp Calvary 2014.
Aimee Palmer
Clay on the Armchair 
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